Today was the last day of class not just for the semester but for my entire undergraduate college career. Now I thought that I would feel sad, as I was leading up to today, but what I didn't expect was the feeling that it was just the end of another semester.
I guess that it doesn't feel real or at the very least the gravity of the situation has yet to sink in. I mean I have earned a college degree in English Literature from a reputable institution. That in and of itself is no small accomplishment.
However, practically all that I have known for the past four years is how to be a student and in performing those roles I have become accustomed to that lifestyle. Now I will have an awful lot of free time and I do not know what I will be doing with myself. I already purchased two self-teaching books that will help me learn how to play a musical instrument.
Oh well, I guess I am not ready to stop being a student in one form of another. But probably the best lesson that I have learned in my college career is that there is always something to learn and that you do not need to learn it in college in order to be successful - although it doesn't hurt, except for your wallet that is.
Friday, April 30, 2010
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
My final Blog
Well here I am at the end of this great and grand journey of being an English major.
I tried to put this blog posting off for a while now by writing other blogs that I had been intending to write for a while now.
I do not know how to express what I am feeling now. This is the last writing assignment that I will be writing as an English Major.
I do not have anything grand planned for this entry - I know it seems rather anti-climatic but oh well. I must admit that I am feeling pretty sad right now and that is sad in itself.
After-all this is the moment that I have been working towards and looking forward to for so long. And now that it is finally here I am finding myself wishing that I had one more week of class left instead of one more day.
Maybe that is why we have some students that have been college students for much longer than four years.
Perhaps because they were afraid of graduation and also perhaps because they had gotten used to being a student and couldn't envision life outside of college.
I used to find that sentiment to be a rather pathetic one. Especially during my freshman and sophomore years when graduation seemed so far away.
But starting in my junior year I began to actually see the light at the end of the tunnel. But I had conveniently put those thoughts out of my mind. After all I still had a year to go.
Then as the first semester of my senior year kicked into gear I was very impatient to get my college career over with.
Those feelings carried over into the first couple of months in my second semester of my senior year. Then slowly that began to change. And I began to feel the uncomfortable emotions of attachment to being an English major, oh what would Krishna say about me now, oh never mind I already know.
I want everyone to know what an honor it has been to be in this class with all of you. This is my only English class this semester - by design mind you - I could have chosen another class but I wanted my last English class to be my capstone and I think that I made the correct decision.
After all I had already fulfilled all my other English Lit requirements and taking another English class would, at least in my opinion, have been pointless.
Well the time to say goodbye to all of you is finally here. The death of an English Major is the rebirth of someone else. Krishna would be proud.
Goodbye everyone - I had a blast!
I tried to put this blog posting off for a while now by writing other blogs that I had been intending to write for a while now.
I do not know how to express what I am feeling now. This is the last writing assignment that I will be writing as an English Major.
I do not have anything grand planned for this entry - I know it seems rather anti-climatic but oh well. I must admit that I am feeling pretty sad right now and that is sad in itself.
After-all this is the moment that I have been working towards and looking forward to for so long. And now that it is finally here I am finding myself wishing that I had one more week of class left instead of one more day.
Maybe that is why we have some students that have been college students for much longer than four years.
Perhaps because they were afraid of graduation and also perhaps because they had gotten used to being a student and couldn't envision life outside of college.
I used to find that sentiment to be a rather pathetic one. Especially during my freshman and sophomore years when graduation seemed so far away.
But starting in my junior year I began to actually see the light at the end of the tunnel. But I had conveniently put those thoughts out of my mind. After all I still had a year to go.
Then as the first semester of my senior year kicked into gear I was very impatient to get my college career over with.
Those feelings carried over into the first couple of months in my second semester of my senior year. Then slowly that began to change. And I began to feel the uncomfortable emotions of attachment to being an English major, oh what would Krishna say about me now, oh never mind I already know.
I want everyone to know what an honor it has been to be in this class with all of you. This is my only English class this semester - by design mind you - I could have chosen another class but I wanted my last English class to be my capstone and I think that I made the correct decision.
After all I had already fulfilled all my other English Lit requirements and taking another English class would, at least in my opinion, have been pointless.
Well the time to say goodbye to all of you is finally here. The death of an English Major is the rebirth of someone else. Krishna would be proud.
Goodbye everyone - I had a blast!
About Silence - Ah the Irony
I thought that it was rather ironic that Nick gave his presentation about silence being a disappearing trait.
I found that ironic because Doug's baby was making cute noises in the background constantly distracting and amusingly interrupting Nick.
If I didn't know any better I would have thought that that was prearranged by Doug and Nick or potentially between Doug and our class director.
Nick had said that the mystery of silence is that it is through silence it is the only way to know epiphanies. I would have to agree with that assessment.
After all through several of our texts that we have read in class it seemed as though there was a moment when all other moments blended into each other.
And one of the characters in the story quietly reflected on all the moments that had gone before
and then suddenly have a brilliant flash of revelation and either had an Ah epiphany or an epiphany of the Oh variety.
Nick did say one thing that I did not quite agree on. He had said that silence is the absence of negative distraction.
But what if you are used to negative distraction and then all of a sudden what you had deemed to be a negative distraction had vanished and in its place there was true silence.
Couldn't that be deemed to be a negative distraction in and of itself?
I am used to writing my papers with the television on, my strategically located fans on high, and on occasion with the radio or a cd on, or also on occasion with a youtube video playing in the background.
But take these away and I know that I would find myself distracted by silence itself - which in turn would thus classify silence as a negative distraction.
Either that or it would allow me to have a minor epiphany to let me know that I need what others would classify as negative distractions as positive ones.
I found that ironic because Doug's baby was making cute noises in the background constantly distracting and amusingly interrupting Nick.
If I didn't know any better I would have thought that that was prearranged by Doug and Nick or potentially between Doug and our class director.
Nick had said that the mystery of silence is that it is through silence it is the only way to know epiphanies. I would have to agree with that assessment.
After all through several of our texts that we have read in class it seemed as though there was a moment when all other moments blended into each other.
And one of the characters in the story quietly reflected on all the moments that had gone before
and then suddenly have a brilliant flash of revelation and either had an Ah epiphany or an epiphany of the Oh variety.
Nick did say one thing that I did not quite agree on. He had said that silence is the absence of negative distraction.
But what if you are used to negative distraction and then all of a sudden what you had deemed to be a negative distraction had vanished and in its place there was true silence.
Couldn't that be deemed to be a negative distraction in and of itself?
I am used to writing my papers with the television on, my strategically located fans on high, and on occasion with the radio or a cd on, or also on occasion with a youtube video playing in the background.
But take these away and I know that I would find myself distracted by silence itself - which in turn would thus classify silence as a negative distraction.
Either that or it would allow me to have a minor epiphany to let me know that I need what others would classify as negative distractions as positive ones.
Following a class act...
Sam had the unfortunate timing of having to do her presentation after Taylor, not a pleasant prospect to be sure even under the best of circumstances.
Sam had spoke about how she was nervous giving her first presentation in college and going after Taylor didn't help her in feeling any better about giving her last, or next to last, presentation.
And believe me I know how she feels. Today I was the last group member to give a presentation and everyone who had gone before me had made every one laugh. I was rather nervous and Derrick helped to alleviate my anxiety by making me laugh just before I began my presentation. Thanks Derrick - you really helped to loosen me up!
Sam's presentation was great. She read a collection of diary entries that she had made as a work of creative nonfiction.
I like how she passionately read her diary entries - entries that were made over the course of several days, or weeks.
Ah, a life lived through the reading of a book. And while Sam may have had to follow a class act - whoever had to follow her, Tai, would in turn have to follow another class act.
Sam had spoke about how she was nervous giving her first presentation in college and going after Taylor didn't help her in feeling any better about giving her last, or next to last, presentation.
And believe me I know how she feels. Today I was the last group member to give a presentation and everyone who had gone before me had made every one laugh. I was rather nervous and Derrick helped to alleviate my anxiety by making me laugh just before I began my presentation. Thanks Derrick - you really helped to loosen me up!
Sam's presentation was great. She read a collection of diary entries that she had made as a work of creative nonfiction.
I like how she passionately read her diary entries - entries that were made over the course of several days, or weeks.
Ah, a life lived through the reading of a book. And while Sam may have had to follow a class act - whoever had to follow her, Tai, would in turn have to follow another class act.
Journal entries..
Taylor spoke about how she had found her journal recently and realized that her childhood journal is by far a much better source of insight behind the thoughts and feelings of the minds of children rather than reading children's fairly tale stories as well as children's books.
Taylor notes that the passing of time has illuminated her thoughts on being young. She said that while that little seven year old girl is still inside of her - she is not her and at the same time still is her.
I think that I know somewhat how she feels. I recently found old papers that I had written during my freshman year.
Man, talk about a weird experience. It is hard to believe that I actually wrote them. Some of them were just horrible, horrible papers and I can see how merciful my professors were on me.
I think that Taylor's reading of her paper was an amazing experience.
Taylor notes that the passing of time has illuminated her thoughts on being young. She said that while that little seven year old girl is still inside of her - she is not her and at the same time still is her.
I think that I know somewhat how she feels. I recently found old papers that I had written during my freshman year.
Man, talk about a weird experience. It is hard to believe that I actually wrote them. Some of them were just horrible, horrible papers and I can see how merciful my professors were on me.
I think that Taylor's reading of her paper was an amazing experience.
It is almost here...
Last week during Lisa's individual presentation she spoke about the future. Specifically about our upcoming graduation.
She said that our graduation was what we thought about for so long and that 0ne day soon we will all wake up and then it will be time for us all to graduate. This time that we had all thought about for so long is now almost here.
Only one class away - our final undergraduate English class, for most of us anyway. Only one week of finals and it will finally be here. It is almost hard to believe.
For four years, eight semesters, dozens of weeks, and seemingly countless days we are now down to the wire.
Lisa spoke about how hard her capstone was so hard to write because she was finding it very difficult to move on. She was not ready and I am beginning to finally understand the sentiment.
I have been a student for so long that I do not know how to be anything else. To think that after this semester I will no longer be a student - unless I go to graduate school in the near, or not so near future - is rather hard to believe.
I have been so used to studying and writing papers for so long that I do not know what I will be doing with my spare time and I will definitely have nothing but free time.
I think that I will learn how to play an instrument.
She said that our graduation was what we thought about for so long and that 0ne day soon we will all wake up and then it will be time for us all to graduate. This time that we had all thought about for so long is now almost here.
Only one class away - our final undergraduate English class, for most of us anyway. Only one week of finals and it will finally be here. It is almost hard to believe.
For four years, eight semesters, dozens of weeks, and seemingly countless days we are now down to the wire.
Lisa spoke about how hard her capstone was so hard to write because she was finding it very difficult to move on. She was not ready and I am beginning to finally understand the sentiment.
I have been a student for so long that I do not know how to be anything else. To think that after this semester I will no longer be a student - unless I go to graduate school in the near, or not so near future - is rather hard to believe.
I have been so used to studying and writing papers for so long that I do not know what I will be doing with my spare time and I will definitely have nothing but free time.
I think that I will learn how to play an instrument.
My Two Minutes Part 2
Be free of sorrow, anger, fear and take refuge in me -learn from me. So let me shed some light on action, inaction, and wrongful action.
This - the mourning of this English major is wrongful action. The correct action is to abandon attachment. Action brings the senses under control. Inaction is to throw yourself into ceaseless activities.
The English major before you, though dead, is in a state of progression. She will regain all the spiritual progress that she had made in her previous incarnation.
And with the end of this life - she will mark this as a starting point for her next life as she will strive yet again for perfection - through me.
As you continue your own journey remember me, take refuge in me, become totally dependent on me. And I will aid you on your own difficult journey as I aided her.
This - the mourning of this English major is wrongful action. The correct action is to abandon attachment. Action brings the senses under control. Inaction is to throw yourself into ceaseless activities.
The English major before you, though dead, is in a state of progression. She will regain all the spiritual progress that she had made in her previous incarnation.
And with the end of this life - she will mark this as a starting point for her next life as she will strive yet again for perfection - through me.
As you continue your own journey remember me, take refuge in me, become totally dependent on me. And I will aid you on your own difficult journey as I aided her.
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