My Final Blog (Really)

Today was the last day of class not just for the semester but for my entire undergraduate college career. Now I thought that I would feel sad, as I was leading up to today, but what I didn't expect was the feeling that it was just the end of another semester.

I guess that it doesn't feel real or at the very least the gravity of the situation has yet to sink in. I mean I have earned a college degree in English Literature from a reputable institution. That in and of itself is no small accomplishment.

However, practically all that I have known for the past four years is how to be a student and in performing those roles I have become accustomed to that lifestyle. Now I will have an awful lot of free time and I do not know what I will be doing with myself. I already purchased two self-teaching books that will help me learn how to play a musical instrument.

Oh well, I guess I am not ready to stop being a student in one form of another. But probably the best lesson that I have learned in my college career is that there is always something to learn and that you do not need to learn it in college in order to be successful - although it doesn't hurt, except for your wallet that is.

My final Blog

Well here I am at the end of this great and grand journey of being an English major.

I tried to put this blog posting off for a while now by writing other blogs that I had been intending to write for a while now.

I do not know how to express what I am feeling now. This is the last writing assignment that I will be writing as an English Major.

I do not have anything grand planned for this entry - I know it seems rather anti-climatic but oh well. I must admit that I am feeling pretty sad right now and that is sad in itself.

After-all this is the moment that I have been working towards and looking forward to for so long. And now that it is finally here I am finding myself wishing that I had one more week of class left instead of one more day.

Maybe that is why we have some students that have been college students for much longer than four years.

Perhaps because they were afraid of graduation and also perhaps because they had gotten used to being a student and couldn't envision life outside of college.

I used to find that sentiment to be a rather pathetic one. Especially during my freshman and sophomore years when graduation seemed so far away.

But starting in my junior year I began to actually see the light at the end of the tunnel. But I had conveniently put those thoughts out of my mind. After all I still had a year to go.

Then as the first semester of my senior year kicked into gear I was very impatient to get my college career over with.

Those feelings carried over into the first couple of months in my second semester of my senior year. Then slowly that began to change. And I began to feel the uncomfortable emotions of attachment to being an English major, oh what would Krishna say about me now, oh never mind I already know.

I want everyone to know what an honor it has been to be in this class with all of you. This is my only English class this semester - by design mind you - I could have chosen another class but I wanted my last English class to be my capstone and I think that I made the correct decision.

After all I had already fulfilled all my other English Lit requirements and taking another English class would, at least in my opinion, have been pointless.

Well the time to say goodbye to all of you is finally here. The death of an English Major is the rebirth of someone else. Krishna would be proud.

Goodbye everyone - I had a blast!

About Silence - Ah the Irony

I thought that it was rather ironic that Nick gave his presentation about silence being a disappearing trait.

I found that ironic because Doug's baby was making cute noises in the background constantly distracting and amusingly interrupting Nick.

If I didn't know any better I would have thought that that was prearranged by Doug and Nick or potentially between Doug and our class director.

Nick had said that the mystery of silence is that it is through silence it is the only way to know epiphanies. I would have to agree with that assessment.

After all through several of our texts that we have read in class it seemed as though there was a moment when all other moments blended into each other.

And one of the characters in the story quietly reflected on all the moments that had gone before
and then suddenly have a brilliant flash of revelation and either had an Ah epiphany or an epiphany of the Oh variety.

Nick did say one thing that I did not quite agree on. He had said that silence is the absence of negative distraction.

But what if you are used to negative distraction and then all of a sudden what you had deemed to be a negative distraction had vanished and in its place there was true silence.

Couldn't that be deemed to be a negative distraction in and of itself?

I am used to writing my papers with the television on, my strategically located fans on high, and on occasion with the radio or a cd on, or also on occasion with a youtube video playing in the background.

But take these away and I know that I would find myself distracted by silence itself - which in turn would thus classify silence as a negative distraction.

Either that or it would allow me to have a minor epiphany to let me know that I need what others would classify as negative distractions as positive ones.

Following a class act...

Sam had the unfortunate timing of having to do her presentation after Taylor, not a pleasant prospect to be sure even under the best of circumstances.

Sam had spoke about how she was nervous giving her first presentation in college and going after Taylor didn't help her in feeling any better about giving her last, or next to last, presentation.

And believe me I know how she feels. Today I was the last group member to give a presentation and everyone who had gone before me had made every one laugh. I was rather nervous and Derrick helped to alleviate my anxiety by making me laugh just before I began my presentation. Thanks Derrick - you really helped to loosen me up!

Sam's presentation was great. She read a collection of diary entries that she had made as a work of creative nonfiction.

I like how she passionately read her diary entries - entries that were made over the course of several days, or weeks.

Ah, a life lived through the reading of a book. And while Sam may have had to follow a class act - whoever had to follow her, Tai, would in turn have to follow another class act.

Journal entries..

Taylor spoke about how she had found her journal recently and realized that her childhood journal is by far a much better source of insight behind the thoughts and feelings of the minds of children rather than reading children's fairly tale stories as well as children's books.

Taylor notes that the passing of time has illuminated her thoughts on being young. She said that while that little seven year old girl is still inside of her - she is not her and at the same time still is her.

I think that I know somewhat how she feels. I recently found old papers that I had written during my freshman year.

Man, talk about a weird experience. It is hard to believe that I actually wrote them. Some of them were just horrible, horrible papers and I can see how merciful my professors were on me.

I think that Taylor's reading of her paper was an amazing experience.

It is almost here...

Last week during Lisa's individual presentation she spoke about the future. Specifically about our upcoming graduation.

She said that our graduation was what we thought about for so long and that 0ne day soon we will all wake up and then it will be time for us all to graduate. This time that we had all thought about for so long is now almost here.

Only one class away - our final undergraduate English class, for most of us anyway. Only one week of finals and it will finally be here. It is almost hard to believe.

For four years, eight semesters, dozens of weeks, and seemingly countless days we are now down to the wire.

Lisa spoke about how hard her capstone was so hard to write because she was finding it very difficult to move on. She was not ready and I am beginning to finally understand the sentiment.

I have been a student for so long that I do not know how to be anything else. To think that after this semester I will no longer be a student - unless I go to graduate school in the near, or not so near future - is rather hard to believe.

I have been so used to studying and writing papers for so long that I do not know what I will be doing with my spare time and I will definitely have nothing but free time.

I think that I will learn how to play an instrument.

My Two Minutes Part 2

Be free of sorrow, anger, fear and take refuge in me -learn from me. So let me shed some light on action, inaction, and wrongful action.

This - the mourning of this English major is wrongful action. The correct action is to abandon attachment. Action brings the senses under control. Inaction is to throw yourself into ceaseless activities.

The English major before you, though dead, is in a state of progression. She will regain all the spiritual progress that she had made in her previous incarnation.

And with the end of this life - she will mark this as a starting point for her next life as she will strive yet again for perfection - through me.

As you continue your own journey remember me, take refuge in me, become totally dependent on me. And I will aid you on your own difficult journey as I aided her.

My Two Minutes Part 1

My two minutes of today's group presentation:

The English major before you had lived both a rich and difficult life, even though it was rather short. I look around this room and I see everyone dressed so well, so respectfully - pointless - look at me.

On your faces I see sadness, depression, and confusion. As I look into your hearts and minds I know this unbecoming sentiment to be true.

Do not be distracted by illusions. Pray for enlightenment, become my humble and sincere disciple and I will teach you.

Mourn neither the living nor the dead. But those assembled in this room are grieving and sorrowing. Tell me, why do you mourn for the death of this English major? Become free from attachment.

You knew me as either your student, classmate, and/or friend. But know come to know me as the Supreme Lord Krishna. Before you I stand as Ronald but know that that is only my current Avatar.

A Brief Response to Rian's Presentation

I think that Rian found a very interesting take on the existence of melancholy in literature and on how that leads to epiphantic experiences, which in turn can lead to great works of art.

I found her presentation to be very thoughtful and inspiring. I would definitely be interested in reading her final project because she did such a fine job of presenting it to the class.

Her use of quotes were particularly well chosen. I see that T.S. Elliot had the same affect on Rian and the Bhagavad Gita had on me. Indeed it is most interesting to see how various writers had such profound influences on the class.

My Capstone Project

My capstone paper was probably one of the hardest papers I ever had to write during my college career. My capstone was probably so difficult to write because I knew that this would be the last English paper that I would ever have to as an undergraduate.

When I was first told that the capstone would have a minimum of 10 pages I was overjoyed. I heard horror stories of previous English majors who have taken the capstone course talk about having to write a 20+ or even a 30+ paper. However, I soon found out that just because the page limit was much shorter than previous capstone courses - it didn't mean it would be any easier to write - especially since one of the criteria of the paper was that it had to be the best paper that I ever wrote.

After reading a blog from Mick I had a much stronger sense of what direction I wanted my paper to go in. I chose to write 5 poems, each containing several wisdom statements, each poem would be modeled off of the 5 Chinese elements, instead of the 4 western elements like in Elliot's The Four Quartets. I titled my paper The System of Five - I know it seems kind of lame but I like it. Despite the confidence that I had gain after reading Mick's blog I realized how difficult this paper would be to write. I mean this would be the last English paper that I would be writing as an undergraduate. WOW!

At first I tried to put off writing the paper but eventually I realized that I had to get started writing it and the sooner I finished it the better off I would be. When I did start to write it I found myself struggling to finish each poem greatly. Sometimes everything seemed to mesh well together but for the most part it was one big headache. But when I was finished with it I felt a strong sense of accomplishment - after all the poem wasn't to bad. And then I let a close personal friend read it, as well as some co-workers of mine who hate poetry. I told them that the poems were from another student in the class and I had to critique them and I asked them to help me out.

They all read the poems and I was pleasantly surprised when each one told me that they really like the poems and even helped me correct them some. When I told them that I had actually written the poems one co-worker told me that I should write poetry for a living instead of writing books for children - like I plan on doing. I did not know whether I should take that as a compliment or an insult.

Today's Presentation

I really liked today's presentation. Craig's was very interesting. Kari's was most amusing. And Jenny Lynn's was most refreshing. However, out of all the presentations that I saw today I must admit that I particularly liked Doug's rehashing of the meeting of his wife and the tale that he told of how she jumped the gun in regards to their seemingly unplanned wedding.

I thought that when Doug read a paragraph, or two or three, of his capstone that it was full of passion and excitement. I enjoyed the all too human tale of having trouble with the future in-laws and the struggle and difficulty with the girlfriend and future spouse.

I have three sisters and my mother was very concerned about her daughters obtaining a good education. When they would bring over their boyfriends she made it absolutely clear to them that she expected them to go college and if they objected in any way then she would disapprove of their union.

Today two out of my three sisters are attending college and both of their husbands received an earful about the importance education for women and both husbands wholly support their education.

Doug's capstone was very interesting and I wouldn't mind reading the entire finished product.

A Regret For My Time in College

I realize that I have not really lived the college experience here at MSU. You see I originally thought that I would be transferring to another university and in another state. In planning to do so I guess I thought to myself "Why put down roots and make friends when I am not going to stay in Montana long enough to enjoy them." The more roots I put down the harder wit would be for me to leave and at the time staying here was the last thing on my mind.

As a result I have let several possible opportunities for friendship pass me by. I focused primarily on my studies, not that that is a bad thing by any means mind you, and even some of the friendships that I had formed had suffered. The closer I get to graduation the more I think back on this. I see a lot of my classmates in close personal relationships and the more I see this the more I reflect on how I failed to connect and form my own friendships with my classmates.

A Night at The Baxter Hotel

It was quite an interesting experience watching the many different stages of my fellow classmates in regards to the struggles and difficulties memorizing their lines.

Some classmates only just memorized their six lines. Other students had memorized a great deal of their lines. One student only just learned that they had to memorize 6 lines and had originally thought that only one had to bring quotes and interesting facts about their section. While one had memorized all their lines but one illusive line.

Watching these students go through their own individual methods and strategies helped to take the pressure off of me. I was nervous and didn't know what to expect. Like other students I went through my lines without a glitch when the cameraman went through a rehearsal.

However, like other students when the cameraman came by a second time, only this time he was actually recording, I struggled and I think that might have messed up my lines - at least a small part of it.

I am glad that I had the courage to go through with this. It was a memorable experience for I was able to overcome my fear of performing before a camera.

Realizing that I was not alone in my fear - that my fellow classmates were also struggling with their own fears was a source of comfort for me. I took strength in that - I took solace in that.

Ah, it was an interesting night at the Baxter hotel. The cookies were good too.

A Brief Entry On Mentors In The Bhagavad Gita And Hamlet

In the Bhagavad Gita and Hamlet there is a character who acts as a mentor to the troubled hero in each story.

In the Bhagavad Gita that role is portrayed by the divine being Krishna and he is consoling Arjuna.

In Hamlet the role of a mentor is portrayed by Hamlets deceased father in the form of a ghost. Both Hamlet and Arjuna display some reservations as to the validity of the claims that both Krishna and the ghost make and struggle to come to terms with the advise and counsel that they offer.

Hamlet struggles to accept the claim that the ghost is actually his father and in a similar way Arjuna questions whether of not Krishna was in fact a divine being instead of just his chariot driver.

Both Arjuna and the ghost plunge Hamlet and Arjuna into a world of doubt and confusion as they dispense their knowledge to their unwitting students.

Oh well I have to get ready to leave for class. I did mention that this would be a brief posting and I meant it. I wonder where students find the time to write such wonderful blogs? I certainly have very little time to post blog entries. Between working close to 40 hours a week, going to school full time, and being a family man I guess my situation is a bit different than most students but still I do wonder!

My Project

I hate to miss class but here I am and class is already in session, so it is with great dismay that I must miss today's class for as much as I hate to miss class what I hate even more is coming into a class at least ten minutes late, and today I would have been at least twenty-five minutes late.

Well for my project and am going to write a series of five poems, in a similar manner as The Four Quartets. The poems in the Four Quartets used themes that had to do with the four Western elements while poems will be focused on the five Eastern elements - Earth, Water, Fire, Metal, and Wood.

Each eastern element has an emotion that accompanies it and a color. I will be incorporating at least one aspect of these into the poems that I will be writing and maybe even both.

That is all for now - I have to go to my next class and I hate to be late!

The Bhagavad-Gita Revisited

The last time I read The Bhagavad-Gita I literally threw the book across the room before I could finish it, not that I would have back then. This time around I didn't finish The Bhagavad-Gita not because of extreme displeasure or because of a great lack of interest - I didn't finish The Bhagavad-Gita this time around because of a life altering event, which I will not go into details, happened to me over spring break.

This life altering experience shook me to the depths of my being. I was lost and did not know if there was much left of me that was well me. Believe it or not The Bhagavad-Gita helped me through it and allowed me to see that this life altering event took place, partially, because I was not honoring and performing my sacred duty.

The teachings in this book were so inspiring and informative that I had to put the book down to contemplate what I read and how I could incorporate its timeless wisdom into my life. Soon I shall pick up The Bhagavad-Gita again but not before I am ready.

I must admit that had this life altering event not occurred I might have thrown this book across the room again instead of gently setting it down in order to be read again. I do not think that I was ready for its knowledge and wisdom. Like Arjuna before me - my world had to be shattered in order to be receptive to what Lord Krishna has to say and even then I found myself debating and arguing his teachings until I received both minor and major epiphanies which allowed me to continue reading.

In the near future I can definitely see my copy of this book falling apart for I do intend to travel with this book and read it frequently in order to pick up what I missed from each of the previous readings.

I often hear people talk about finding books or books finding them when they need them the most and I always thought it was such nonsense - well I needed a book with timeless wisdom in order to help see me through a difficult time over spring break and I didn't find The Bhagavad-Gita it found me again.

Revisiting The Bhagavad-Gita

Hello class - today I am going to start rereading The Bhagavad-Gita and I am curious to see if I like it better this time around - I last read it several years ago when I was a young punk in desperate need of seasoning.

Well I am still young and still in need of seasoning but I don't think that I am a young punk, though I am sure some of the older generation would disagree with that assessment!

I must admit that I don't remember much from the last time I read The Bhagavad-Gita I only barely made it through the first chapter and I most definitely remember that I could not stand it.

What I do remember is that The Bhagavad-Gita reminded me of most was reading The Old Testament of the bible, not that there is anything wrong with reading The Old Testament of course and there is a lot of timeless wisdom in the bible if one knows to look for it and I assume that there is a lot of timeless wisdom in The Bhagavad-Gita as well.

Well this time around I am older, hopefully a little wiser though at times I do have my doubts, more patient, and more experienced at reading older texts.

I am hopeful that I will be able to finish reading the entire book without setting it down so that it can gather a lot of dust and oh so slowly disintegrate in the process.

Minor Epiphanies in "To The Lighthouse"

I have noticed that Virgina Woolf's "To the Lighthouse" has numerous minor epiphanies, of the "oh" variety, that are dispersed with frequent regularity throughout the novel.

The assignment of this blog was to write about only five instances of minor epiphanies that occur in "To the Lighthouse". Only five, well we could probably find 50 quite easily or wait there are 209 pages in "To the Lighthouse" and if one were so inclined to look someone could probably find at least 209 minor epiphanies in the novel. To prove this point, or at least attempt to I will randomly open my book to any given page and write the quote that, at least in my mind, best embodies the minor epiphany that I observed on that page.

Here we go...in numerical order (not the order in which I turned to them originally)...

On page 29 "She was silent always. She knew then-she knew without having learnt. Her simplicity fathomed what clever people falsified. Her singleness of mind made her drop plumb like a stone, alight exact as a bird, gave her, naturally, this swoop and fall of the spirit upon truth which delighted, eased, sustained-falsely perhaps.

Page 62 "She could be herself, by herself. And that was what now she often felt the need of-to think; well, not even to think. To be silent; to be alone. All the being and the doing, expansive, glittering, vocal, evaporated; and one shrunk, with a sense of solemnity, to being oneself, a wedge-shaped core of darkness, something invisible to others. Although she continued to knit, and sat upright, it was thus she felt herself; and this self having shed its attachments free for the strangest adventures.

Page 128 "...the sea tosses itself and breaks itself, and should any sleeper fancying that he might find on the beach answers to his doubts, a sharer of his solitude, throw off his bedclothes and go down by himself to walk on the sand, no image with semblance of serving and divine promptitude comes readily to hand bringing the night to order and making the world reflect the compass of the soul.

Pages 150 -151 "And then, and then-this was one of those moments when an enormous need urged him, without being conscious what it was, to approach any woman, to force them, he did not care how, his need was so great, to give him what he wanted: sympathy.

Page 174 "But the dead...They are at our mercy. Mrs. Ramsay has faded and gone, she thought. We can over-ride her wishes, improve away her limited old fashioned ideas."

Page 176 and this one is not quite so random as I remembered that there was a followup epiphany to the one on page 174. "She had been looking at the table cloth, and it flashed upon her that she would move the tree to the middle, and need never marry anybody, and she had felt an enormous exultation. She had felt, now she could stand up to Mrs. Ramsay - a tribute to the astonishing power that Mrs. Ramsay had over one."

From these five quotes from "To the Lighthouse" we can see that these minor epiphanies are all small, though revealing, personal moments of epiphanies that continue to grow over the course of the novel.

How Dillard Sets the Stage

In Annie Dillard's "Total Eclipse" we can see that she is writing in order to share with her audience how awestruck she was when she witnessed the total solar eclipse of February 26, 1979. This essay is particularly about sharing her experiences through the vivid use of language, metaphors and similes, and communicate with her audience how this particular event, and the journey leading up to the total solar eclipse, has affected her.

Dillard uses very descriptive language in this essay. She is able to convey powerful messages in very few words. For example we can get a strong sense of her great anticipation for total solar eclipse when she begins to describe the scenery of Yakima Valley. Dillard writes:

"East of us rose another hill like ours. Between the hills, far below, was the highway which threded south into the valley. This was the Yakima valley; I had never seen it before. I was justly famous for its beauty, like every planted valley. It extended south of the horizon, a distant dream of a valley, a Shangri-la...Distance blurred and blued the sight, so that the whole valley looked like a thickness or sediment at the bottom of the sky" (13).

From this passage we can see how Dillard uses language in order to "paint" the picture for her audience not only to see but also to experience. By using strong descriptive language in reference to witnessing Yakima valley, not to mention her other experiences while going to witness the total solar eclipse, we can see how she sets the stage for her revelations about her life changing encounter with the total solar eclipse. In fact the event was so dramatic for her that it took her two years to write her experiences down.

We can also see how Dillard foreshadows the the events prior to the total solar eclipse in order to set the stage for an experience that takes her by complete surprise. Dillard writes:

"It began with no ado. It was odd that such a well-advertised public event should have no starting gun, no overture, no introductory speaker. I should have know right then and there that I was out of my depth. Without pause or preamble, silent as orbs, a piece of the sun went away. We looked at it through welder's goggles. A piece of the sun was missing; in its place we saw empty sky" (14).

From this passage we can see how Dillard is communicating, however so slightly, with her audience - TO PAY ATTENTION! When she writes that she was out of her depth she is giving us a major clue that something so unexpected and so earth shattering was getting ready to happen.

Also I noticed that she uses a lot of repetition in this essay. At first it was getting just a little annoying reading the same thing over and over again restated in slightly different ways. But then I realized that she was once again communicating the importance of her experiences in order to set the stage for something bigger.

The repetition was necessary in order to produced the desired effect up her readers, also I think that it might also have been used as a subtle maneuver in order to convey her message to those audience members who couldn't get what she was up to. For those of us who did pick up on it - it only heightened our anticipation for the epiphanic moment of the text and for those who didn't pick up on it, well it probably subconsciously produced a similar effect as well.

Tintern Abbey and Lock 60

When I was reading Tintern Abbey I was struck by the similarities that I feel when I visit Lock 60 in Pennsylvania (you should Google Lock 60). As a boy I used to walk, or ride a bike there, fish or collect mini fresh water shells. Lock 60 is located on the Schuylkill Canal, just off the Schuylkill River and it is surrounded by woods, steep cliffs, rolling, and a dam. The roaring water can be heard throughout the area.

Wordsworth is very nostalgic in this poem and I can relate to how he feels seeing one of his favorite places. However, this time he is seeing it through an grownups eye instead of that of a child. He reflects on how things have changed and he feels at peace there.

Wordsworth wrote:

I came among these hills; when like a roe
I bounded o'er the mountains, by the sides
Of the deep rivers, and the lonely streams,
Wherever nature led: more like a man
Flying from something that he dreads, than one
Who sought the thing he loved. For nature then
(The coarser pleasures of my boyish days,
And their glad animal movements all gone by)
To me was all in all. -- I cannot paint
What then I was. The sounding cataract
Haunted me like a passion: the tall rock,
The mountain, and the deep and gloomy wood,
Their colours and their forms, were then to me
An appetite; a feeling and a love,
That had no need of a remoter charm,
By thought supplied, nor any interest
Unborrowed from the eye.

From these lines we can see how just by thinking about his boyhood years at Tintern Abbey affects Wordsworth. He feels bittersweet just thinking about it. But we can also see how much pleasure it brings him.

For me Lock 60 is my Tintern Abbey.

Last year when I went to Pennsylvania the first place I visited was Lock 60 and it was the last place I went to just before I left to catch my flight. I can spend hours there visiting my old hangouts, fishing, just walking around the trails or finding a comfortable place to sit back and relax. I love Lock 60 and I feel at a loss and at peace when I am there.

When I first read Tintern Abbey a few years ago I didn't make the connection to Lock 60. I just thought about it as I reread the poem over the weekend. I do remember thinking to myself a few years ago that it must be nice and awful to have a place like Tintern Abbey to haunt and please you. Well, I do have such a place and it is indeed both terrible and fantastic.

I look forward to later this year when I once again go to Lock 60. I can't wait to go and I do not want to leave. For Lock 60 is with me now so in a way it has never left me. Lock 60 - My own personal Tintern Abbey.

I have an plan

Well, this is my first posting in about two weeks and I apologize for that. I was inspired by Mick's idea about writing an epic poem for his final project and I think that I will do, or at least attempt to do, the same thing.

However, I think that for my poem instead of four separate sections I will have only three. For the moment, at least, each section will concentrate on one or more elements of the human condition. Furthermore, I envision that each section will be told in one of the three personal pronouns in English.

I am fully expecting and hoping that this will be an exciting undertaking that will be full of challenging moments that will lead me to the depths of despair and the the heights of personal fulfillment.

I must admit that I haven't tried anything of this scope before and I am hoping that it is within me to be able to complete by the time the semester ends. I know that things do not always go according to plan and perhaps this is one won't either. But what I do know is that I will give it a go and if my plans change so be it.

Who knows maybe I will fail - but maybe I will succeed. I won't know until I try but try try I will.

The Dawning of Awareness: Oh's, Ah's, Yum's and Hmm's

Hello Class,

I just finished watching "Groundhog Day" for the first time in several years and I think that there is a gap in our current understanding, or attempted understanding, of the nature of an epiphany in the movie and in some of the text's that we read.

One student posted that we should reserve spot for Yum on the list of epiphanies. Well I think that this is a great idea and I that we should add hmm's to the list as well, which I call the dawning of awareness. In "The Dead" we see an hmm moment when he first realized that something was wrong with his wife in regards to the song that was sung and her reaction to it. An hmm moment is not the revelation of important information or sudden clarity - it is the moment that turns on the light in one's brain that there is either an oh or an ah moment on the way. So it is not a true epiphantic moment in the sense of this class but it is close.

An example of an hmm moment in Groundhog Day is when Bill Murray's character Phil sees an old homeless man struggling in a dark alley way. This old man was passed by without so much as an afterthought throughout much of the movie. When Phil saw that he was struggling to get by an hmm moment was triggered and shortly afterwards in the hospital when he learned that he died of old age an oh moment happened.

In The Wind in the Willows a similar hmm moment happened just before the ah moment. Mole and Rat were traveling to find Portly when they heard blissful music. This music was the hmm before the ah.

From these examples I feel that there is a moment not of clarity, like an epiphany, but of awareness before each epiphany - the ah's and the oh's. I think that this type of awareness, that something is not quite right whether good or bad, is present before most epiphanies if not all of them. Therefore, I will be looking for these hmm moments very carefully from now on.

The Waltz of Death

I am afraid that I was mistaken about what Professor Sexon meant by the nature of "diamonds" in James Joyce's "The Dead". However, due to this mornings class I believe that I have corrected my mistake and I am better prepared to speak/write about the "diamond" that I found.

In "The Dead" Gabriel is hesitant to read some of the poetry that he had prepared for the night in fear that his audience simply was too ignorant to understand him. Joyce writes "The indelicate clacking of the men's heels and the shuffling of their soles reminded him that their grade of culture differed from his. He would only make himself ridiculous by quoting poetry to them which they could not understand. (121-22)" Here we can see how his outlook is very similar to that of his wife's when she is hesitant to tell him about a song. A song that would make her seem ridicoulous to herself. Joyce writes that "He halted a few paces from and said: "What about the song? Why does that make you cry? (149)" Gretta answers by explaining about a boy by the name of Michael who gave his life for her . What we see here is that Gabriel didn't reveal some selected poetry out of fear that it would go over his audiences head and then when he is finally told about his wife's relation to the song The Lass of Aughrim Gabriel finally realizes that despite all his intelligence that he has be in the dark for so long about so many things - especially in regards to his wife.

This is the great epiphany of the novel where Gretta finally admits the truth of her past and Gabriel realizes that he just might have, well most likely at any rate, witnessed the death of his marriage especially since her heart has always belonged to another. What an epiphany - what a shame.

The Power of the Written Word

When I lived in Pennsylvania one of my favorite things to do was to visit the numerous bookstores in the area and read/explore books for hours on end. Naturally when I moved to Montana I tried to restore this hobby of mine. However what I found was that Montana did not really have any national bookstores, oh sure there were plenty of small bookstores in Bozeman and in Montana and aside from Hastings my options, in book titles and genres, were extremely limited. I was rather depressed and as an escape I would drive to Spokane Washington and spend the weekend there so that I could visit the bookstores that I grew up around and frequented often.

However, that all changed when Bozeman opened up a Barnes and Noble and shortly after that a Borders Books store. No longer would I have to make a four plus hour drive to Spokane in order to browse books now I could do it at my whim. This freed up a lot of my time and I took full advantage of it. Before I used to purposely spend all day in the bookstores of Spokane, and in PA, because well that was what I was there for. To waste time doing other things was not an option - for me it was books, books, and more books. After I bought the books that I wanted then and only then I would leave the bookstores, sometimes I would sit in the coffee shops and read them, and find a scenic spot to read. But now, in Bozeman, I could just go to a decent bookstore select a title, or more than one, buy it and go home and read it. I would plan to go to the bookstore and spend no more than an hour or two there looking for anything of interest.

But I remember one instance above all others. I planned to spend only an hour at Borders Books one day and I found the book "The 48 Laws of Power" by Robert Greene. I don't know why this book possessed me so much but I went to the bookstore when it opened and I ended up spending over 6 + hours there reading (I believe I read the whole book and I read some sections twice). The book has over 400 pages and well 48 chapters, one for each law. The book has examples of each law being observed, along with the rewards of those who followed the law, and counter-examples of each law being transgressed, and the punishments that were sure to be followed. The book also had the occasional interesting examples of "reversals" of the laws in which in some instances there are occasions when one should purposely violate a law because following the law will spell disaster. An example of this came in the form of a man who was a con man who presented himself as an honest low level government official trying to sell the Eiffel Tower in Paris. The man played the part perfectly but when the person attempting to buy the Eiffel Tower became suspicious the con man started to complain that he was underpaid and under appreciated - he was in effect asking for a bribe - and that sealed the deal. By acting like a corrupt government official, after all aren't all government employees corrupt, the con man was able to pull off one off the greatest cons in history.

And just when you thought that a book couldn't find a way to pack anymore information into it the author/publishers put even more examples/counterexamples in the margins of the book and in eye catching red letters. This book is just packed with historical information about how to rise above ones birth or to prosper in situations that may be inherently against you due to your station in life. Also, the book allows one to notice when someone may be trying to get the best of you and then gives you the keys of power in order to defeat your foes. This book is usually found in the psychology section of a bookstore and I highly recommend it.

On a side note, a sequel to this book "The 33 Rules of War" had the same effect on me as this book. I was in Borders Books in Bozeman and I was browsing the psychology section again when I came across Robert Greene's sequel. I had no idea that he had written a follow up to "The 48 Laws of Power" and I ended up spending most of the day reading it in the bookstore before I too bought the book. And for those who are interested in trying to win the heart of one's affection Robert Green also wrote a book titled "The Art of Seduction" while it, in my opinion, is not as good as "48" and "33" it is still a very good read and one that is written in the same format as "48" and "33". And to this day, probably due to my experiences with "48", Robert Greene is still one of my, if not my, favorite author.

The Induction of an Epiphany

Professor Sexton asked us to reread chapter 7 in The Wind in the Willows and write a working definition of an epiphany using inductive reason. Like Professor Sexton said, inductive reasoning reasons from the specific to the general, which is the exact opposite of deductive reasoning. Inductive reasoning begins with making a rule by using a small number of observations. For example if I notice that in the Autumn the leaves fall off of deciduous trees then I can use inductive reasoning to say that every Autumn the leaves on deciduous trees will fall off.

By using the events of chapter 7 we can see that Mole and Rat go on a quest to find Otters missing child, Portly. As they look for Portly, Rat and Mole hear beautiful awe inspiring music. The two animals are filled with extreme bliss and eventually come into contact with the divine being Pan and worship him. Portly is given over to Rat and Mole so that he can be returned to Otter and Pan, knowing that Rat and Mole will eventually go mad over their meeting with him, allows them to forget their encounter with the god.

Therefore by using Rat and Mole's encounter with Pan in chapter 7 we can, by using inductive reasoning, make the rule that an epiphany is manifestation of an extremely joyous and emotional occasion of contact with a supernatural being, a god, while on a quest to rescue a lost soul, a child. And as used in chapter 7 an epiphany is also being given the gift forgetting the experience due to the benevolence of a god after being worshiped.

Rhetorical Me

I believe that I was wandering around aimlessly during my first two years as a English major. I did not have a focus I did not have a goal other than graduating in 2010. I did not particularly feel ecstatic about being an English major and there was a time that I seriously considered switching to another discipline.

That all changed for me when I took English 450 Rhetoric/Composition. For the first time as an English major I really looked forward to learning more about the English language. Everywhere we look we are being persuaded, or at least someone is attempting to persuade us, to buy, read, sell, or feel one way or another about any given topic or item. How do we persuade others into taking our side of a story. How are we persuaded into buying one product over another. How do logos, pathos, and ethos come into play with rhetoric and how do the five canons of rhetoric move there audiences into action.

To me rhetoric was an epiphany of the the AH variety. Suddenly I had a new purpose and a new take on written and oral arguments and this in turn allowed me to view the English language in a manner that I had never even conceived of before. And the thing of it was I seriously considered dropping the class because rhetoric initially bored me to tears.

While many see rhetoric as being "full of hot air" or being "an empty/pointless art" I see as an art full of promise and excitement. Ever since I discovered rhetoric I looked at arguments and epistemology in a whole new light. With my new found rhetorical skills I attempted to discover what method that the writer is using to attempt to convince her/his audience that they are correct or at the very least should be given the chance to prove that they are correct. And what particularly interests me is why an argument works or fails. What could the writer have done differently to persuade her/his audience that they were correct?

Also I find it interesting that we are all rhetoricians, philosophers may not like the sound of that though, whether we like that lable or not after rhetoricians are concerned with human discourse and knowledge. When someone has a message and they have an audience then what we have is a rhetorical situation. It is particularly interesting to me that there are be many truths out there in the universe at large but if enough people can't be convinced of the validity of those truths then those truths won't be recognized as truths. After all everything we think that we know was successfully communicated as a truth to enough people to eventually began to believe it as a truth. The world was once thought to be the center of the universe. The earth was once believed to be flat. People once thought the sun revolved around the earth. It took a brave and clever orator to convince enough people that these views were incorrect and not only that their views were correct. Fascinating.

Je ne sais pas ca.

I became an English major because I knew that I wanted to be a writer. I figured that a college degree would better enable me to find a decent job while writing novels on the side and perhaps even getting published by a major, or minor, publication company. Looking back on my expectations I see that in many ways I was very naive. I remember an old saying, I forget who said it though, that if you want to be a write then write. I did not necessarily need a college degree to become a writer. My own personal epiphany came when I was asked a question by a skeptic of the whole college educational system. The skeptic asked "What did you learn in college that you could not have learned on your own?" I must admit that this question threw me for a loop. After all what did I learn in college that I could not have learned on my own? The answer was nothing - at least that is what I thought at the time. But as I dwelled on this question further I started to regret going to college and in the process apparently wasting a lot of money. This line of reasoning led to another epiphany. The real answer was not what I could not have learned on but what I would not have learned on my own. Being an English major has lead me to books, articles, essays, and blogs that I would most likely not have encountered on my own. For example, I probably would not have learned about several aspects of literary theory had I not take English 300. I would not have encountered the creative works of William Blake if I didn't take Professor Lansverk's English 342 class or learned to appreciate poetry had I not take English 372/English 428 from Professor Keeler or learned as much about professional writing/rhetoric if I had not taken English 450 from Professor Downs and English 326 from Professor Branch. And last but not least I would not have learned about blogging or even created this blog had it not been for this class. So needless to say I have had several epiphanies throughout my career as a English major at MSU and as I end my career here and perhaps head off to graduate school I know that I will have more epiphanies though perhaps not as many with such frequency as I had here and that is something that no skeptic can take from especially if they themselves never experienced the joys and hardships of the college experience. So to really answer my doubting skeptic the real answer is that I learned a lot from my professors and from their professional experience and what I personally learned from them is something that I could not have learned on my own. Throughout my time I have constantly been saying to myself "I didn't know that" and that in itself is a wonderful feeling.